learning to follow

What does it really mean to follow You?
Cuz the cost is way higher than I ever knew
But so is the reward
And so is the journey.
Why do I lie thru this mic & guitar?
Smiling and singing happy songs from a troubled place?
Why do I focus where there is no value at all?
I'll give up what Ive loved to deathfor what I can hold and still live
You say sing Your songs
a minstrel with authority
But I need people to like me too much
So I entertain rather than love you with my songs
But You dont listen to my doubting
Cuz Youre too busy telling me how great I am
And I wonder if I believed You
could I really just walk away from all this frailty
Use your music to call your children home
Turn murderers into prophets
Use Your music to clear out the distractions
And reveal that Youve been waiting here all along
You keep stretching out my lines
Ignoring my no trespassing signs
Pushing me to come awake and move on
You love me and want to be around me
But dont care about what I think about anything
You want me to absorb what You think about everything
Im a messenger carrying the gravity of Your heart
Not a praise leader yawning out happy songs
I want to move your Spirit with my music
Cuz that's all that really matters anymore
Except for applause.
that still matters to me.
But You don't like to share
so You'll wait for me to choose
I wont obey You if I dont love You
And I wont love You if I dont believe You
And I wont believe You if I dont know Your character
So keep introducing me to You
And I'll be captured and follow